Frugal and Thankful

I would like to thank those of you who have left kind and inspiring comments on my blog. I truly appreciate them and take them to heart. You are like the motiving family members that I wish I had around me all the time.

I am pushing hard towards fighting my procrastination and taking it day by day.  But I have been trying so hard to fight against myself and the bad habits, that I have failed to realize I need to have peace within myself in order to overcome any obstacle I may tackle.

Peace within myself or around me is almost impossible to have in my life. Anyone that has an aging parent to take care of and juggle their own life knows that it can be draining on your inner spirits. Especially if the parent is harder to deal with than your own children.  Life in itself is difficult without any extras that we are handed. We can choose to deal with our circumstances gracefully or fight them head on. I have done both and still question which method is proper.

Through the years of dealing with my father it has drained my emotionally and financially.  It has effected my children, my marriage and my business. I have kept it all afloat only by the Grace of God. My happiness is out there lost somewhere with my cash flow. It is to the point where I am waiting on the power company to disconnect, my business to go under and who knows where the marriage stands since we no longer communicate on a regular basis.

In my world I have truly hit rock bottom. This is not me. I have asked myself over and over what could I have done different. I am not a shopper, credit card user, overspender, or live beyond my means person. I am a responsible child, parent, wife and business owner. What did I do to make all this happen?

In the midst of all this thinking and being on the verge of a pity party I received a phone call. It was my neice-in-law, newly married and new parent of a 5 month old little girl.  My nephew was on call due to the weather and she was home alone with her baby. She was in a state of panic due to the furnace was not working and it was below freezing outside. Within seconds my mind shifted from me and went into full troubleshooting mode in order to help her. Thanks to my husband working in HVAC for many years I have learned more than I wanted to about heat pumps, furnaces and such.

To make a long story short she was merely out of oil. Now, common sense to most would be making sure you had heat in the house, especially with a new baby. You do not wait until 1:00 in the morning to realize you have no heating method for your house. But before I gave the motherly lecture I remembered back to when I was her age, newly married and starting out. I assume that everyone knows how to be proactive. I assume everyone knows how to check their furnace, change a filter or just use common sense.  Quickly I realized that this was not the case. She was not brought up being shown or taught these things. Her parents always had taken care of these things and all this was new to her. If you are never shown or taught or told that you have the capability to learn these things it is a great possibility that you never will. It is possible that a person will always be depending on someone else to handle things for them.

After our phone call,  my attitude totally changed from wallering in self pity to peacefullness and joy. I had taken time to help someone else and make a difference. By restoring her peace of mind I had restored my own. AHH HAA!! That my friend is the answer. I have spent so much time worrying about my situation in life that I have failed to see opportunities to help others.

Will helping others get my power bill current, I doubt it. But helping others will restore the faith I have lost in myself.  It will bring back my resourcefullness, motivation and will power to get me back on track. I will also have the opportunity to share with others how to avoid getting to where I am now and possibly keep them on track.

We all need to be reminded from time to time that we have a lot to be thankful for.  Thankfullness is a great motivator even when we feel as if there is nothing to be thankful for.

Do It Tomorrow

I am so far behind…again!! If you have been following my path to overcoming procrastination let me make a suggestion to you.  Never try this alone. Never attempt to strive for excellence without an accountibility partner. It is extremely difficult to be accountible to yourself all the time.

It will not take long before you stop listening to yourself. It will not be long before you begin to tune out your inner self and do the opposite of what you are intending to do. My husband used to irritate me and now I irritate myself.  I am starting to believe that it would be easier to just keep putting things off. However that is not an option at this point.

I have made progress, although it doesn’t feel like it. I never knew how much crap that I had put off doing until I decided to deal with it.  The reason that half my life has been put off until tomorrow is now perfectly clear. It is nothing but a pure mess. The hard part now is to figure out what is needed to fix it.

Do it tomorrow. Start a new day and do not be so hard on yourself for what you did not accomplish today. Do it tomorrow. Take a deep breath, remember to take time to enjoy those around you, say a kind word and help someone in need. Do it tomorrow.

Frugal Insights

I know that I have always been proud of my frugal ways, and never understood why people were not more cautious of how they spent their time and money.  I still wear my frugality proudly, but it is time for us to spend some of the money that we are afraid to spend.

Now let’s be clear. Given the current situation of the economy it should be obvious that overspending or living above our means is just plain stupid. But in order to begin the revival of the economy we must start spending. It should not be up to the government to bail us all out or save the economy single handedly.  We all have to be a part of the solution.

I live in a small (and I mean small) rural community. Their idea of a bargain is “FREE”. Now getting something for free is not a bad thing, but there is a fine line to follow on that one.  Let’s take for instance the FreeCycle community. It is a forum where people in your city offer free items to other freecyclers instead of just throwing it away. Items range from swim toys to upright freezors and anything else you can think of. This is a super idea to save us from filling up landfills, but people in my area have turned FreeCycle into Santa’s year round wish list. People are asking for new cell phones, cars, car parts, video games and everything else. Freecycle is now being abused by those people who would rather receive than give.  I do not think you should ever ask for someone just to give you something for nothing.  So, do you see the mentality of the area in which I live.  I truly do not fit in and neither does my consignment shoppe.

I am in the midst of a “Spend Local” campaign for the local merchants. I am beginning to feel it is a waste of time. No one seems to understand that in order for people to keep their jobs there must be a demand for the company they are working for. In order for there to be a demand, consumers must be spending. But it is difficult for people to spend when they are in fear of loosing their income.

So I would personally like to thank those greedy individuals who managed to set us in a downward spiral. Now everyone has fell into a panic and trying to swing to frugality overnight. It just doesn’t work that way.

So, try spending frugaly and spend it local. Don’t expect life to be a hand out.

Day 4.5 and Counting Sheep

This is so ridiculous. I updated this blog during the wee hours of the morning. I shut down the computer and turned off the t.v….but then nothing.

Fast forward to now at 7:39 am and I have still not went to sleep and updating here again. I know I am trying to overcome putting things off, but what the hell….I did not mean to include sleep on that list. Do you know that there is nothing, absolutely nothing, on television all night long. Apparently the sheep I usually count have decided to catch some shut eye because they were no where to be found.

There is an upside to this. I have actually overcome the daunting task of getting up early. I will be hitting the shower in 10 minutes and ready for work earlier than ever. Grab a cup of coffee, a couple of Red Bulls and I will be set for a very LONG day!!

Procrastination: 2 , Me: 1

Prime example of my battle with procrastination is the fact that I have not posted any updates in more than 4 days. Why, you ask? Well, because I have not been doing to well.

New Year’s Day was suppose to be the day I accomplished it all. In my mind I had a plan laid out that would fill my day with needed tasks. There was even time scheduled in to take time out for my family.  However, it was not as I had hoped. It seems as though the more thorough my planning, the more difficult it is to adhere to. It was a day of pure interruptions and annoyance. I think I transgressed into my normal bitch mode until after lunch.

Why is it so easy to feel guilty or like a failure if the first few attempts do not succeed.  Failure is when we quit trying and just give up. I have not given up, but boy do I feel like a failure.  I believe that we are so used to instant gratification that small achievements bring us less happiness.

But on a lighter note, here is what I did manage to accomplish. I went and saw my mother. This may not seem like a big deal, but I have not seen her in 6 years. This was something that had been eating away at me.  I just knew that if I let go of all the things that had happened in the past, and became the bigger person, that would be a huge burden lifted off my shoulders. It was good to see her, but nothing had changed. I was simply reminded of the reasons that I had stayed away for 6 years.

This journey to overcome procrastination is more than meets the eye. Each task that I attempt evolves into something more that what I had anticipated. Now I know why I put all this stuff off for so long. I just did not want to deal with it. Healing past relationships, owning up to past mistakes, and trying to avoid making new ones is a huge mountain to climb up. I am emotionally and physically drained, but the journey has just begun.

Day 1: Getting Started

In retrospect of my previous attempts to overcome procrastination I realized the biggest obstacle was feeling overwhelmed. My mind would go in a million different directions as to where to start first and I would just simply shut down.  Another problem was that I would start to many tasks at one time and then overwhelm myself and quit all of them.  If  I see no immediate results then I feel like my efforts are a waste of time.

However, this day has been very different. By realizing what had been preventing me from my goals in the past I used a different tactic this time. I have to start small and keep reminding myself that it took me a while to get this way and it will take more than 24 hours to fix me. I made a simple list of a few things that I had been putting off.  Due to my need for immediate gratification they were easily accomplished in my given time frame. The one thing that I had been putting off was organizing my bedroom and stop using it as a storage facility.  I also wanted to tackle those damn dirty clothes that have to be handwashed or washed seperately on the gentle cycle.  My frugal habits, thank heavens, prevented me from taking everything to the dry cleaners. But my procrastination kept me from actually cleaning them myself.

I am so happy to say that I did accomplish my goal of getting my bedroom back in order and all those items that I had been hanging on to are ready for donation. All fine washables are washed and hung up to dry. Even my 3 section hamper has been labled and ready for use!

This may seem trivial to some, but I feel as if I have moved the Earth somehow in one day!  For once, I do not dread waking up in the morning. For once, I had time to actually cook a meal, clean up afterwards and hold a conversation with my husband without being a bitch.  Even to my husband this seems rather silly.  I have explained numerous times that when my surrounding are out of sync, so am I. My mind cannot focus or concentrate with things are just a mess.

I am actually proud of myself for today and have excitement for tomorrow. The key is to keep it simple, start slowly and have faith that this year I will defeat procrastination.  I  hope that you will check back in frequently with my progress and I hope that my daily trials will help encourage others to reach the goals they have not yet reached.

Procastination Delays Our Destination

Do something for at least 7 days and it becomes habit. This is what I remember being told in one of the many motivational classes I attended several years ago.  I am pretty sure that comment was referring to positive action being repeated for 7 days. However, I have subconciously applied that statement to negative habits.  I will spare you all the bad habits I have managed to adopt, but I will confess the biggest one.

Procrastination. It has become a member of my family. It wakes up with me in the morning, stays with me throughout my day, and rides home with me from work.  It has taken over my entire being and I am fed up with it.  I carry with me worry and dread over things that have no significant meaning.

Procrastination is nothing but fear, and I am tired of being afraid of fear! So, this morning as I woke up late, pissed off and dreading the day before me, I realized that I hate the person I have become on the inside and I am the only one that can change it.  I am ready to make that change.  I am ready and I want to share my journey through change with you.  Maybe there are others who are like me and cannot make the change without someone to help them along.  I would love to have the company and the more the merrier!

Procrastination only delays our true destination. If we keep putting it off we will never get there.  This journey is not about marking off the trivial tasks on our to do list. It is about truly living and sharing it with others.

Fear = Ignorance

My original intention for this blog was to share my wonderful thoughts on New Years Resolutions and the correct way to choose one. But then, as usual I was distracted by browsing on the CNN website.

I am so addicted to CNN that I have the breaking news text sent to my Blackberry, installed the CNN shortcut on the blackberry, and check it every time I find myself bored. You get the point.

The headline that changed my topic was “Obama’s Inaugural Choice Sparks Outrage”. I tried to avoid political discussions due to my ulcer is currently back with me and my fuse is rather short. I find it best to avoid those things that trigger MY outrage. But this latest excuse for a news brief I could not ignore.

First and foremost, I think those insecure groups and individuals, who live to have something to bitch about, should understand the President’s role. He is not in office to make everyone in the world happy. It is not the President’s job to walk around on eggshells and protect all the over sensitive ones who carry their feelings on their shoulder. The President should not be judged on his personal or religious beliefs. We, as registered voters, need to act as adults and not bickering children waiting in line to tattle to the teacher.

All human beings have rights. All human beings have the right to choose their sexual orientation, religion and uphold their personal opinions in a respectable manner. Resorting to violence, whether verbal or physical, is merely showing ignorance. This goes for both sides of the fence. The gay community should respect and accept the fact that the entire world will not be supportive. The same advice goes for the ones who discriminate the gay community. I think those who oppose the rights of gays are insecure and have been misinformed. A gay or lesbian person is just that, a person. A human being with feelings. Does it really matter in the big picture why they are gay? No, it does not.

Why does the color of a persons skin matter? Because unfortunately in our advanced society ignorance still exists. But I mean ignorance on all sides. I have found that most people are afraid of the unknown. My parents were unfortunately only partial to white people. I never understood why? Then as I grew older I realized it was due to they lacked understanding or knowledge of other races. They were acting on how they were brought up. My parents limited themselves in many ways due to worrying about what the other idiots in their community would think. Do you know that over half of my community supported Obama for President but would not make it known for fear of what the neighbors would think.

Rick Warren being chose as the inaugural speaker should not be taken so personally. I am well aware of what Mr. Warren’s core beliefs are. Do I agree with all of them, no I do not. Look past what you may think is offensive and listen to what he has to say. If you have read any of his books or listened to him speak you know how motivating it can be. This world needs some uplifting motivation. How can you expect anyone to except your beliefs, ideas or opinions if you never listen and accept theirs.

Practice What You Preach…Frugal Style

OK. Here it is Christmas Time again and I am so not prepared. My grandmother was right when she said that time flies by quicker as you grow older. It seems as if we just finished with New Years!

The economy has put a downturn on spending for many this year and parents are wondering how in the world they are going to keep the lights on and have a Christmas for their family. I found myself being one of those parents. I would be lying if I said that I didn’t worry about it all.

But tonight as I was once again trying to come up with a way to give everyone what they wanted, and pay the bills, it hit me. Now is the time to practice what I preach.

The sermon that I relentlessly preach to my husband contains numerous references to the downfalls of trying to live like the neighbors. I overstate the fact that the type of car you drive does not make you the person you are, and our modest home provides us with the shelter that we need. I would be lying to you if I said I never thought about owning a new car, buying a new home or taking my children on shopping sprees when I felt the urge. It is a part of our nature to want new shiny things and to have others be envious of what we have. But where we all misstep is by taking it to the extreme.

We must find a happy medium between living in excess and living within our means. I am still searching and struggling with this, but refuse to succumb to the materialist ways that eventually lead to downfall.

So this year, I must practice what I preach during the Christmas season. I will buy what I can afford and pay for without credit cards. I will remember that it is better to give that to receive and teach my children that the real meaning of Christmas is not how many presents are under the tree!

Just One Vote

I have been a registered voter since the wonderful age of 18. That has been almost 20 years ago and it has taken up until the last presidential election to understand what a privilege it is. This election is especially important to me because we are in dire need of some positive direction. No politician is free of skeletons in their closets and neither are you. That does not mean that we are incapable of doing great things. It only means that a few rather than perfect choices were made along the way.  Imperfections and mistakes are the stepping stones for our overall destiny.

When President Clinton was in office,  the whole world was engulfed by the media coverage of his escapades with Monica. Frankly, who cares. He is a mere male human being with a Penis. Who like most men, will think with his  penis first and his real brain second. You can rest assured, that if another man was in that same position with any women, that it would be probable he would succumb to temptation. However, since Mr. Clinton was the President, this made it a horrible thing. I am sure that millions were spent in media coverage and attorneys. To stop and think of the tax payer dollars that were wasted on a man’s penis is sickening.  Since we are in such debt already you would think that better choices would have been made in that area.

Why is it relevant if our President is black, white, male or female? Why does the religion of our President matter. It should not be an issue if there is such a thing as separation of Church and State. Why is it that some think a women is not capable of hold the office of President? Because so many men still think that women are put here on this earth to be a service to them. Ignorance such as this has ruled our political offices and country for way to long.

Why are we so judgmental when it comes to gay rights? I have always believed that I am not put here on earth to judge others. Why is it not “ok” to discriminate against skin color, but appears to be “ok” to discriminate against the sexual preference of others. It cannot be both ways. Wrong is wrong no matter which way you look at it. It is time to take a stand against double standards. Everyone no matter what skin color, gender or sexual preference has God given rights in this country. We should be fighting the rights of everyone. Not the ones that only benefit you.

The government waste to much time and money trying to play referee for issues that we should have enough damn sense to handle. Why should the government tell me how to raise my children? Why should the government have a right to determine whether or  not I can smoke. It is because we have allowed the government to take rein over certain issues that again, we should handle ourselves.

Why should the government regulate our food consumption when is goes beyond the safety of what is sold to us? Why is it up to the government to dictate what type of oils can be used when cooking food in restaurants? It seems that according to them that way to many fat people are walking around. Well, in my opinion there are way to many obese individuals. However, that is a personal choice for many. It boils down to caring for yourself and learning when to stop being a gluten and step away from the table. But, since we as individuals lack self control, the government has been asked to assist.

Wake up people. Those of you who are to sorry to make it to the polls on Tuesday are doing nothing but giving up your freedoms that have been fought so hard to keep. Those of you who give every excuse under the sun not to get to your voting polls are the ones who will be bitching the most about who gets into office. I do not want to hear the excuse that your “one” vote can surely make no difference in the outcome.

You are ONE vote. ONE vote multiplied by millions will and can make a difference. Is the world perfect, no. Is our Presidential Candidates perfect and free of past mistakes. NO. Will they make future mistakes. YES. But where would you be if no one ever forgave you for yours.